Paradox
by Fichtel
Summary: I'm kissing the shadows you surround me with. To feel my pain vanishing away from me. You're touching the shadows I'm surrounding you with, so together in peace we shall be.


Hi, well As you may know I'm not a native speaker and haven't got a beta reader, please excuse my mistakes. I'm sure there are quite a few.

This is another story about the paradox we call love. It's about Sev and Hermione, but you could easily change the names and it could fit so many people.

Enjoy yourself, once again it's a bit… sad.

Perhaps.

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, only the words that sometimes make there way out of my head. I have no explanation for that, as before I write a sentence I never know what follows.

Black is black - white is white  
Are you right or are you blind  
Is this the truth or just a lie?  
See the world in your eyes  
You will jump into the life  
You will kiss your love goodbye

_.i_

Crematory – Do you know

_.i_

_Have you ever seen the nature of love? Have you ever seen what lies behind the curtain, what is deep buried, away from everyone's eyes?_

_How could you never understand what made me feel addicted to you, how could you never understand what made us fail? _

_I haven't got the chance to tell you now, as you're so far away, far away – hidden from everyone's sight.._

_Oh how long have I waited for you, oh how much have I cared?_

_But you never let me hold you._

_The beauty of love must have missed us, as we were never a true follower of its kind._

_Our bond was found of need – the need to feel comforted, the need to feel loved._

_It was their watching eyes that made us shiver under our blankets of dreams._

_We were never safe, but accepted it as a natural rule of our life._

_Have you ever noticed us skulking around in dark corners of the halls, of the walls that made our invisible prison become alive?_

_No, of course not._

_How could I think you even cared, how could I even consider the possibility of our life together not to be turned down before getting a closer look?_

_Have you ever searched for anything that's farther away than the surface is? Have you, only once, really thought about other things, maybe strange, maybe weird, but not lesser deserved?_

_We have chosen another way of life that you're obviously not meant to be for. Yes, we may have lost, but watch, try to understand our hopes.. Perhaps you'll find something beautiful about it then; perhaps you will see that it has made us whole, even if we failed in the end._

_The time we had had together was more than we both had hoped for. And we got it, we truly found our other half._

_We had been whole – that's enough for both of us to endure what has followed close behind._

_This time we don't care, this time we are the true winners, hidden but nevertheless we are there. _

_All of us have their own little secrets, buried here and there, never meant to be brought up in the light - and in the shadows._

_This time we just don't care._

_What would have left me broken so long ago, is now my only way to go on._

_A departure so long and painful like this would have killed me – would have eaten me alive._

_I never could have handled it._

_But now I find that I am strong enough to solve everything that destiny has enjoined on me._

_It's__ fine, I am perfectly fine with everything that has happened in my life._

_I would never change a thing._

_And this conclusion I have made so long ago, now leaves me restless._

_I do want him back, I thought it was enough knowing him to be okay, though so far away._

_I have never thought that something like that could ever occur to me, the feeling of utter loneliness, everything you have in mind only circling about this one person, my love._

_My love my life, - my soul._

_I told you before that we have won, that we could be happy now no matter what._

_Because we had had each other._

_But now I find that it isn't enough. Not for me._

_I know that my talking here is paradox. That's how my feelings are._

_Completely out of place._

_I will never see him again; never see his laughers reach his eyes, as they did so many times. His secret smile that he always saved for me is now lost._

_Too desperate to stay awake, I want to close the file._

_But this time my hope has forsaken me._

_I will never be able to forget him, to forgive him for the dept he gave to me._

_For the love he wasn't able to return._

_Kill me 'cause that's the only thing that will free me,_

_Torture me 'cause this makes me feel alive._

_Oh I miss you so much._

_I know I'm lying, I know we were meant to be._

_I know that you loved me more than anything- I know you would have sacrificed yourself only to let me live. _

_But does that truly help?_

_The Dark Lord is dead now, can't you come back?_

_You already gave them more than they deserved._

_It wasn't you fault, everyone knows. Okay? Please?_

_Please let me take you with me, please let me find my way back to you._

_Where have you gone my love? Where have you stayed over the years?_

_Do you still sneer at everyone you see, is there still this glint of amusement in your eyes when you see your students cry?_

_The past has passed. It no longer can ruin our lives._

_Why don't you show yourself now?_

_I know you don't care what others think, I know you rather fear for me to be abandoned from society._

_But I don't care, - you know I don't._

_Come back to me my love, we can leave. Leave this country, leave this world._

_It has been our dream, oh can't you remember?_

_How could you ever forget me? Or am I wrong?_

_Why don't you return, why do you keep me in the dark._

_You could come to know the place I wait._

_I haven't got the chance to ask._

_Where are you?_

_Since nobody speaks to me here it's only a matter of time before I crack._

_The memories of yours can't always keep me alive, can't always make me stay._

_In this world._

_I haven't got the right to hurt myself._

_You saved my life, how could I take what you once gave to me?_

_I love you, don't you know? Of course you do._

_Have you ever listened to my thoughts?_

_I trust you._

_One day you will be there for me again, one day you will fill my life with joy no matter how far away in time this will be – I will wait for you._

_'cause you're my everlasting love_

_'cause you're what let's me see what was always meant to be_

_'cause you're what will never leave my heart._

_You are my hope._

_My life._

_My Severus._

_Yours Hermione,_

_Trapped in my mind as always._

Everyday when the knife in my back starts to twinge n' turn,  
My eyes are catching fire and my heart starts to burn.  
A foot away from you is like a bit closer to heaven,  
Then again it's like being needled 24/7

Children of Bodom – Needled 24-7


End file.
